Saturday, June 30, 2007

I'm getting excited about camp. I'm going to be teaching ceramics, sewing, henna, facepainting. I got an email from two other counselors who are teaching labrynth building. How amazing is that? *I* want to take a class on labrynth building. I arrive on the 15th of August. A few days before, my mom and I are going to go down to New Harmony, Indiana and spend a night to see the lightning bugs, then I'm going to stay with her in Charlottesville for a few days. Yay! Excitement!

Saturday, June 23, 2007

I rented an apartment on the 9th street hill, but I can't move in until after I come back from camp. It's really cute, and the landlord is something out of a book. After proudly telling me in detail the makings and workings of the air conditioning system and the plumbing, he then showed me a variety of unusually thoughtful features, such as a carbon monoxide detector and mail boxes large enough to receive packages. Then he went on to tell me about his church missions around the world, including an almost poetic recapitulation of Vietnamese farmers harvesting a rice crop. When he was describing my lease terms to me, he said he didn't care much about late rent, but was very adamant that I stay off the roof, which I thought was hilarious since my apartment is on the ground floor. He lives upstairs with his wife and a married couple lives in the basement. My apartment is on the front of the house and has a porch with a swing and little trees in the front yard and a very homey feeling to it. There are mirrors everywhere, which is a little bizarre, but I'm vain anyway.

Now that my mom's sold her house, I'm having a hard time accepting that she lives in Virginia. When she was in town right before the closing, I slept in her bed with her, and it was like being a little kid again. I felt so comfortable and happy. I got to go to dinner with her and talk in restaurants all night like we did when I was a teenager. The absence of this is bothering me for the first time since she moved. This feeling is coupled with the fact that I don't really have a home right now, and am technically living in my art studio with heat and bugs and no bed. I drive to see Dan and sleep with him more than I can actually afford to justify. I feel lonely constantly, even though my art studio is "my space", it's stark and open and strange at night. It's been months since I've had a "home" per se. Sometimes when I get off work at night, I get so depressed about not being able to go home to a bed and a cat and a refrigerator full of goat cheese and apples and comfort, and I call Dan crying about how confused I am about my life and sit in a bar and drink until I can pass out on my studio couch.

But life is yet happy because it's summer and almost blueberry picking time. And I made a salad with mandarin oranges, tarragon, goat cheese and honeyed walnuts.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Pretty much the best thing ever happened the other night. I met a FALCONER. Oh yes. I mean what are the odds? Obviously this is fated to be. Now all I need to do is convince him to make me his apprentice.

I had a bad day (I've been having a lot of those) and Dan made me cookies. I have the best boyfriend ever. Actually, I also have the best ex boyfriends ever. Sometimes when I'm feeling sorry for myself because my life is directionless and floundering, I think about all the luck I've had with men compared to other women I know. Someday I'll make some sort of tribute to all the nice, helpful, protective men I've had in my life.

It's about to storm.

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

I'm going to do some free advertisement for my friend Justin here. He's an incredibly talented photographer, and more than that, he's an artist. I want to see him succeed as a professional, so if you're in the market for a photographer, contact him.

I'm never letting anyone else photograph me. Pure love, Justin!
I get depressed about jobs where I have no sense of purpose or investment... especially when I have so little control over the circumstance (my hours, in this instance) and I'm completely replacable. For example, yesterday apparently there was a mandatory cleaning day that no one bothered to tell me about. Of course, as far as they're concerned, I work during the day, so could they really have expected me to be there anyway? Who knows. I might get fired. It depresses me that my source of income is that fragile. It also depresses me when other employees gossip about each other or talk about how much they hate the managers because they've been waiters too long and are bitter about all their evaporated dreams. I just want to make money and go home, not get sucked into their bull shit drama.

Of course, here are the happy things: I went running yesterday morning and spent the rest of the day painting. I had lunch with Marty walked from the west side to my studio in the rain. The painting I started is nearly finished, and I think will turn into a series, although I'd really like to paint something less dark. I'm going to try to organize a show by the last gallery walk. I have this idea to do large works on light weight boards and suspend them from the pipes in the ceiling and make a sort of hallway type exhibit. We'll see.

My mother is coming back tomorrow to close on the house. I'm not really sad to see it go, but the lady who is buying it is a bitch. I'm thinking about signing up for a bunch of stupid mailing lists and having them sent there.

Sunday, June 3, 2007

I expanded my studio!

Long week... Last weekend my mom was in town getting her house ready for the closing, so we spent some time together before she left to go back to Virginia on Monday. Tuesday I worked and Wednesday was Dan's birthday, for which I made a cheesecake and bought a bottle of whiskey and a bottle of vodka. Thursday I woke up at 6 a.m. with a hang over and drove back to Lafayette to pick up Makenna to take her back to Indy to the zoo. This was a lot of fun, and I was very generously compensated for it, considering I would have done it for free. We had lunch at a very nice restaurant downtown where I had a spectacular salad with goat cheese and where I was informed by the waiter that Indiana is fast becoming the biggest goat cheese producer in the country. I then decided I want to own a goat and learn how to make goat cheese. Makenna and I pretty much saw everything there was to see, and after her mother picked her up, I went to Dan's sister's rehearsal dinner across town. Friday I went to a cook out at his Dad's house, then to my cousin Caitlin's graduation party. Saturday was the actual wedding, which was very beautiful and ended with me drinking gin in a limo. I love gin. And goat cheese. Sigh.

Now I'm about to go buy a sewing machine.

(That picture of me kissing the walrus at the zoo is actually from March.)